My birthday bicycle wishlist
There is under one week to go until my 30th birthday and undoubtedly you must all be scratching your heads about what to buy me. No need to panic though, as I have done the job for you! Here are my top 5 cycling presents to celebrate into a new decade:
1. The picnic box (Necessity level: 1 out of 5 bikes)
Who wouldn't want this awesome contraption, positioned cunningly within the frame of the bike, ready to fill with tasty treats (beer)? I would be the hit of the party when I rock up and reveal the tasty carbohydrate loaded liquid delights inside. It almost makes me want to wear a suit when cycling.
The picnic box: Stylish AND useful
2. Superhero cycling tops (Necessity level: 2 out of 5 bikes)
I am yet to see one of these on the market, so can only base this on the Spiderman Under Amour t-shirt pictured, but the idea is awesome and speaks for itself. Someone needs to start making superhero cycling tops and NOW! In particular, I would like a Spiderman and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Raphael of course) top. Added weapons optional. (Note: For those thinking why I didn't just buy the Spiderman top, cycling tops have necessary pockets in the back to store clean underwear and the like)
My boyhood dream come true
3. A GoPro (Necessity level: 4 out of 5 bikes)
I don’t want to capture hours of pointless footage to post online, or to complain about drivers, pedestrians and their dog (although that being said, it would be fascinating to see a video of the moment I recently tore my handlebars off my bike before making a Superman leap towards the concrete). The camera would be used to take photos while at high speeds, without the need to recklessly reach into my back pocket and snap away with my camera phone while swaying precariously into oncoming traffic.
4. A dictaphone (Necessity level: 4 out of 5 bikes)
I truly believe that some of my best ideas come to me when I am on the bicycle. Wind in my (thinning) hair, the ideas flow, whether it be a new idea for a blog post, a study I think is worth undertaking or a simple concept I want to investigate; in the saddle is when the best ideas are formulated. When I’m on my bike, I think I have gold and yet the moment I stop cycling, every thought that has entered my head proceeds to exit it, and I am left with a memory of a magnificent idea I can no longer remember. A dictaphone (cycle accessible) will help me to log these thoughts and ideas and will undoubtedly lead to a better world in which these ideas come to fruition.
5. A new road bicycle! (Necessity level: 5 out of 5 bikes)
As we all know, the optimal number of bicycles to own is n+1, and thus, I will happily accept a new top of the range bicycle. Buying bicycles can become addictive and can also take up most of the kitchen space as my old 163 housemates will know, but there is nothing better than the feeling of being able to decide which bicycle to take out on your next training session. Also, who wouldn’t want to head out on holiday looking like part of Team Sky?
This is how I would like to turn up at holiday villas from now on
I look forward to unwrapping your bicycle shaped packages!